Yet another Covid winter forced me to dig deep into my attic medicine chest. I was astonished to discover a bottle of miracle cure from Lydia Pinkham--sadly empty, but no matter. I thought I had sold my last one several years ago. Please excuse me for presenting much of that former description in the promotion of this still viable miracle cure.
Ladies, do you feel that you are living proof of Global Warming? Has this past winter's descent of the Polar vortex seemed like just another heat wave to you? Perhaps you need an introduction to Lydia.
Has your dog begun to hide in the corner when you enter the room? Has your husband sought to cower behind the dog? The name is PINKHAM......LYDIA PINKHAM. Do you fear that you will throttle the cat simply because it is there, or perhaps even worse, throttle your husband? Has the whole world made irritating you its only purpose, and you just cannot take it any more? YOU...JUST...CAN...NOT...TAKE...IT...ANY...MORE!!!!
There, there now. Help is on the way. Lydia understands; she really does. The world will right itself and all will be as it was. Although the liquid contents of this bottle have provided relief for others before you and are now sadly gone, it is believed that some faint vapors may linger behind the beaten cork to soothe your restless body and soul. Place your trust in Lydia and let your cares fade away.
Lydia Estes Pinkham, 1819--1883, began selling her medicinal compounds in 1875. They were purported to cure any and all sorts of female maladies. The elixirs contained, among other ingredients, unicorn root, pleurisy root and alcohol--about 18% in the beginning and 15% by the early 1900's, much to the chagrin of the legions of temperance women who relied regularly on this medicine. Lydia also supplied medical advice to the thousands of women who wrote to her with questions of health. Investigations in the early 1900's questioned what kind of advice could be given by a woman who had been dead for more than forty years.
It is easy to scoff at this type of remedy for "female problems," but in these earlier times the approved medical treatment was surgical removal of the ovaries with a mortality rate of more than 40%, making this herbal remedy a very attractive alternative.
This bottle still retains some slight greenish-brown residue which has been allowed to remain in order to provide soothing vapors. Hence, the bottle's interior has not been thoroughly cleaned. The condition of the cork, probably not original, is typical of the results of frantic attempts to get at the cure inside. The bottle measures 8 1/4" tall with a circumference of 9 1/4." It holds (held) 14 1/2 ounces of life altering medication.
Regrettably, medical costs continue to rise. This is particularly true of miracle cures. Can one put a price on healing? I don't know; I chose $40.